Another week over, more depression and skit and stuff.

So anyway I left off last time at around 13.00 on Aug 07....

07 August

Oh well... thats it from me for now... see you all mid-week!

1. Initials:
DWG

2. Name someone with the same birthday as you:
Hulk Hogan

3. Favorite fruit?
Apples

4. For or against same sex marriage?
For it.

5. Are you allergic to anything?
Scroats

6. Are you bisexual?
Been there, done it, bored of it though

7. Have you ever slept in someone else's clothes?
no

8. How many U.S. states have you been to?
None

9. How many of the U.S. states have you lived in?
None

10. Have you ever lived outside the U.S.?
Can I answer no?

11. Name something physical you like about yourself.
Errrrm I cant

12. Something non-physical you like about yourself?
My ability to talk crap and get away with it

13. Do you have any pets?
Nope

14. What is your dream car?
Anything with cruise control, otherwise a lexus would be nice.

15. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
Tokyo

16. Are you bipolar?
Am I what?

17. What dream car do you want your husband/wife to drive?
New shape Bug

18. Where would you want to go on a first date?
A nice resteraunt, with a half decent semelier

19. Would you date the person who posted this before you?
Dunno... Nutty but smooth.... To sweet for me I thinks!

20. Has anyone ever sang or performed for you personally?
Nope

21. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Yes

22. Do you like president Bush?
Yes.... in a bunker full of primed explosives

23.Have you ever bungee jumped?
No, but want to

24. Have you ever white water rafted?
No, but DON'T want to

25. Has anyone 5 years older than you ever hit on you?
Yes

26. Are you racist?
no

27. What song are you listening to right now?
I'm not.

28. What's your favorite song at the moment?
Sandi Thom, Punk Rocker

29. What was the last movie you watched?
Some chinesse thing about men and women, and nudity and niple, and well it was on Film Four.

30. Where was the last place you went besides your workplace or house?
The Local

31. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
No

32. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
yes

33. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Voice

35. What do you usually order from Starbucks
Cuppachino.

36. Say something totally random about yourself?
Nothing I say ever makes sence, so don't try to make sence of it.

37. Do you have an iPod?
nope

38. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
No

39. Do you have freckles?
No

41. Do you love someone right now?
I hate to say it... but I dont think so

42. How tall are you?
5 foot 10

43. Do you speak any other language other than English?
French, Double Dutch

44. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
No

45. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
Yes

46. Do u watch tv?
Funnily enough, I don't watch much

48. What's something that really annoys you?
Scroats

49. What are some things you really like?
Counter-Strike, pronography

50 Do you like Micheal Jackson?
He does some great work, but as a person he is too weird

51. Have you ever surfed?
No

52. Do you know how to pump gas?
Yes

53. What do you drive?
Nothing (I am banned for another 8 days)

54. What's the latest you have ever stayed out?
I disappeared for a week to "find myself".... I locked myself away to work out what I really was.

55. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
Yes, then I pulled myself away from the edge

56. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
No

57. Have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do?
No

59. What color is your hair?
Brown

60. What color are your eyes?
Pass

61. Do you have any special talents?
I can deal casino games, and (just about) drive a train

62. Favorite non-alcoholic drink?
Coke Zero

63. Favorite city?
Cardiff

64. Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull?
no

65. If you were working on a pirate ship, what would you most likely be?
On the end of the plank

66. Who do you work with?
mad commuters

67. Last thing you watched on tv?
WWE Experience

68. Do you wear glasses or contacts?
Yes

69. Have you ever taken a roadtrip?
No

What a lovely few days it has been! I am now the most HATED guard on the South Coast, after (allegedly) forcing a member of my own staff to pay for a ticket because he did not have his free staff travel pass with him..... Am I REALLY that stupid... of course not, but slander is a great wa to blacken someones name!

04 August

Woke up this morning and tried to ring someone from my mobile.... cold I find it? Could I hell! Running around Portsmouth, trying to find my beloved connection to the outside world. It turns out I left it on a bus on my way home last night, thankfully it was not taken before the cleaners found it!

I also found out how hard it is to get a member of staff to help yo dispatch a train. The station staff in question are obligued to assist when you can not see 100% of the the doors of a train from any position, for example on curved platform, so I had to close all the doors apart from my own, make sure they are all closed by walking up the platform, then leaving. I got a "please explain" for the delay, and I told them straight:

"... Due to the ignorance of the platform staff, I had to visually ensure that every door was interlocked by walking two coach lengths in either direction. Refer to RO2..."

(RO2 is the designation to platform staff)

I finished work at a little after midnight. For the Friday after payday it must have been quiet, as I could get a taxi straight away!

05 August

Today I found out that I was alleged to have forced this driver to purchase a ticket because he had no ID.... I only found out because a guard at another depot told me, and it has taken two weeks of guards sneering behind my back for someone to have the guts to tell me whats been said. Says a lot for the honesty of SWT staff, especially those staff that I work really close with, and know me better than that!

Spent 40 minutes waiting for my (company) taxi back to base tonight. Some roadworks have popped up on the main A3 into London, and the taxi driver had to take a 1 hour detour through the middle of nowhere! As a "sorry" he was kind enough to drop me at my door, and I went straight to bed. Not his fault, but he did sound realy appologetic!

06 August

Not real much happened today. Me and her went to the local for a lovely Sunday lunch, while watching the Grand Prix on their big screen. The most lively race I have seen in a long time... the only race I have seen in a long time....

I also did my weekly show on Portsmouth Hospital Broadcasting which was ad-hoc as usual, and filled with mistakes and wrong tracks everywhere! Such is the high quality of my work!

07 August

Its only 13.00 and I have already been up for a few hours... by the end of duty at 00.30 tonight I will be knackered!

I have the application for my promotion in my hand. I want to become a Guards Standards Manager, and finally find my true place behind a desk man-managing and promoting good-will to all men! Well atually it will make me so hated, that nothing will change from above, so its not really anything new!

Oh well! Time to get dressed for work, I have just written this whole entry stark b**k naked. (Sick buckets available on request)

Ta tA

Hi guys.

Yeah I know I know..... I been neglecting my blog again.

On the plus side, I now have a little book so that I remeber everything that I want to say.

SO what have I been doing, well mainly work, if I am not driving trains, I am assesing stores as a mystery shopper. If I am not hosting radio shows on Portsmouth Hospital Broadcasting, then I am doing it on Alpha-Radio. But I do have a life..... no really I do.....

Its only 2 and a half weeks until I get my car back! W00T! First job, drive as far as i can to get back into the life of driving, assisted by my father just in case!

So anyway to the day by day blow (no... not jobs) of life as me.

31 July

I finally got to register with a new GP. Its only been 2 and a half ears since my last one (and 300 miles away) so my records are probably locked away somewhere in Wales gathering dust. can I have an appointment? Yeah sure want one tomorrow? Ummmm am I imagining it, I usually have to wait a week!

I heard one complaint on the radio about last nights TOTP final show... where were the Red hot Chilli Peppers? Did they not do a whole one hour show by themselves once?

Logical Thinking If you are going to put revenue staff at an enterance to a train station to do an en-mass ticket check, surely covering both exits to the station is an idea..... "oh I got no ticket, lets go out the other exit where its Wiiiiiiide open..."

Also, at London Waterloo, we emply ticket checkers to errr check tickets, thats okay until someone can get through just by showing a driving licence! And when they shut the gates to stop passengers join a train trying to depart, maybe the should not be telling them to use the "Staff Only" gangways, which are so labelled as they are acutally safty zones in case a trains brakes happen to fail. I know its an unlikly event, but rather safe than splattered.

Also had the pleasure of having to eject a couple of scroats from the train, whos intention was free travel and graffitti. These lovely kiddies come from New Milton Childrens Home, some 70 miles away, and quite why they are in Portsmouth at 22.30 at night is anyones guess.... appearently though, the childrens homes don't really care if they even turn up at night, and give them travel warrants to go wherever they like... doesn't meant they will go there, it just gives an excuse to bunk a train somewhere else.

Sky Close Children's Home, Cosham is the same!

01 August

Did a mystery shop on two stores in Southampton today. Phones4U came first, and was a very high pressured sales technique. Why don't you want this hpone now (Because I want to think about it), will £50 change your mind (It would but I am not actually here to buy anything, I am here to watch you), he even phoned me three times later that afternoon to try and get a sale.

Orange were a lot more casual and a better quality of service all round!

02 August

Finally went to my appointment at the GP today, wish I hadn't, now that I got to go for more blood tests than you can shake a vial of blood at, and an ECG (?). Yeah I know my BMI is 39, making me more obese than an obese man, thats why I am here! So now I hav to lay off the pizza, beer, chocolate and get more exercise (sex is a three mile walk... any offers?) and drink more water.

Vodafone decided to screw me around as well.... I only phoned up to review my price plan, but they refused to talk to me as I had refused to tell them my bank details for their "security check" Wow... Are they trying to get my account emptied or what! I gave them every detail they asked for, but refused to read out my bank account numbers ver a mobile phone connection on a packed bus! So they CUT ME OFF! I had to go into town and take two forms of ID with me to unblock my phone. I been with vodafone for around 7 years now (82 months) and they can stick their contract right up their a**e.

I sent them a screwy email telling them that if I don't get a phone call, I will cancel my contract immediatly and bounce the direct debits.

Speaking of Vodafone being c**p, I had to do a mystery shop on one of their stores as well during the afternoon. So I went out to it, and it was so poor I am surprised they get customers. The senior consultant I spoke to was more interested with wahtever he was hiding on the computer screen (pron perhaps) and althe other advisors wre more interested in lunch.

03 August

Did a diffent mystery shop today (won't talk much about it as its in a number of stages which are still live), but it was made worth my while, so I am happy to obligue.

Went to Weatherspoons in Chichester on the way back for breakfast (it was 10am) and it was agonisingly bad. The coffee was luke warm, the "farmhouse breakfast" half missing and room temperature, and I waas thoroughly dissapointed.

Well its time for me to get ready for work now.

See you in a few days, weeks or months!

What a weird old week it has been! First I was going to get a nice loooooong weekend off thanks to one group of people, then I set a record breaking wek (for me) thanks to another when I should have been enjoying my long weekend thanks to the first!

The week stated quite well actually. A few busy trains meant that for the first time in a while I was taking a reasonable amont of ticket revenue on board my trains. In the middle of the week though, I managed to get rostered onto a train where the one in front was cancelled. So I happily trundle along with TWO trainloads of passengers - apparently the same as the day before - until we arrive in London, and I get approached by a pregnant lady who was furious.

Lady: "Do you realise you could kill my baby if you kep this up!"
Me: "Uh, um, srry love, I don't understand"
Lady: "Two days running, I am forced to get on this train and stand in a crushed carriage for 35 minutes because you can not run all your trains. If I lose my baby because of you I am going to sue you for every penny you've got!"
Me: " ok, so where did you get on?"
Lady: "Guildford"

Now I am usually VERY sympathetic to any person who is made to stand up on a train in the conditions that we get on the network.... sometimes.

This woman got on at a station with no less than 10 trains an hour in the peak time. Surely if she was that worried, when the train was ALREADY full and standing, that she would have waited for the next train 5 minutes behind!

So because SHE CHOSE to get on an already packed commuter train its MY fault! Errrr wheres the comedy club?

Friday was meant to be the start of the first 24 hour strike by the Network Rail signalman. They wanted a half-decent pay offer and didn't get it. thursday afternoon, they get a new offer to cosider (how well timed) and call off their strike!

So Saturday I am still gonna have to head to the Farnborough Air Show, working a train up and a train down (to London) calling at Farnborough in both directions! I managed to flog (legally) 40 entry tickets at £24.50 on top of my usual ticket sales, cashing in over £1300 instead of the targetted £400! Thats enough to keep the commission falling in! I took over £4000 last week alone, and with 5% commission and three weeks to go, I am sure there are more events we offer tickets to that I cn go for.... The Motor Show at Excel (Go by train - 2 pay, 3 (or 4) get in!)

Me and her decided to go to the Isle of Wight yesterday. No real reason, just because we were bored. Went to the Brading Wax Works, which was cool. Last time I went there I was about 11 or 12, so it has changed, but not a lot!

We also went to a pub called the Smart Fox (in Brading) for lunch. Absolutly lovely food, ice cold booze, and reasonably priced with waiter service! Its more of a resteraunt than a pub, although you can just go in and drink, but what a lovely traditionaly built drinkery! If you go to the Isle of Wight and are in Brading, go there!

We also went to Ryde for a quick look around, but the weather was closing, so we head back to the fastCat home to Portsmouth, where my darling went back home - she still has not moved in yet!

Well thats about all I have for the last week or so. I have a week of daytime shifts this week (between Noon and 11pm mainly, and mostly Portsmouth to London work) so theres bound to be a few stories coming up next weekend! DO NOT FORGET Those in the South, that the SOUTHSEA SHOW is in 2 weeks time, come show your support and help Portsmouth Hospital Broadcasting raise some money to keep serving the patients of St Marys and Queen Alexandra Hospitals.

People say I have not been around!
Stats say I have not posted in over a month!

Time is a finite resource, and I know its been lacking.

Not a lot has happened over the last month really:

I now host live radio for Portsmouth Radio Broadcasting... yeah I know, my profile is not on there yet, as well as online at Alpha-Radio... yeah I know.... my profile is not there yet either! (Someone shold kick some a$$)

I am still working for South West Trains in Portsmouth. I keep trying to get myself sacked by treating Fare Evaders like criminals (I am sure they are). "Oh no! You can not throw off Fare Evaders, they are our customers!" Really? I thought they were freeloaders, so they are not really customers, they are fraudsters, theives!

I am still doing a load of consultancy work outside of SWT in computer networking and hardware.

But you know why I still do all this..... I still live alone! Its been 8 months now nd the misses STILL has not moved in!

I must admit, I felt really shitty when fatalattraction was threatening to quit blogging because of one of her "fans"... darling its not worth it! Ignore the ignoramus bastardicus.

Anyway will I post more often? Who knows!

What a difference a day makes,
24 little hours!

For those of you that commute on SWT, you are sure to know by now that yesterday was chaotic, when a major fire closed down the London to Woking mainline for around an hour. The public were to an extent very smpathetic... I did not do a ticket check, being as we were around an hour late leaving London, but I did take a wander up and down the train, taking my machine with me so that I could use the onboard timetable to offer new connections.

Everyone was not happy, but they were subdued and sat watching the world go by, or keeping themselves occupied. ou would expect with the trains up the spout that they wold be looking for blood....

Then comes today.

All goes well, for the first hour.

I come to a station in the countryside. I am still checking some coaches for the first time since we left London as it is a busy commuter train. A well dressed woman (about mid 30's I guess) asks for a ticket to the next station. Later a second woman told me she had infact got on at London, paying around a fifth of the actual fare, and she does it quite often.

So we come into the next station, and instead of leaving the train, she goes into the toilet...shame I was watching her at the time! So I politely ask her to leave, and she casually forgot that she had infact parked her car at the NEXT station 20 minutes away and can she have another ticket.... Im sorry but lying once is bad, but TWICE!

She refused to leave the train so we had to call in the police to have her removed, 15 minutes later passengers were getting irate, at me for delaying the train, and at her for delaying the train. In the end it took two passengers to threaten to man-handle her off the train, for her to think about leaving the train, because my issue is quite simple: She was evading the fare. I also suspect that she evaded it in the morning, to get to work in the first place. If she gets away with it every day for a working week, she is evading £200 of fares, which 99% of the other passengers pay (whether the agree with it or not).

So anyway we leave, and all I then get is greif from the passengers on board that I held the train up for 15 minutes..... that will be the same passengers who will complain that the tickets have gone up double what they should because we are not catching fare evaders!

Its nice to see that the South West Trains strike by drivers at London Waterloo depot is still going ahead!

This Tuesday and Thursday, up to 200 drivers will fail to sign in for duty, and protest that they can no longer get subsidised taxi's from their homes to work at 3am or from work at 3am. Would this be the same group of drivers that originally lived in the outskirts of London, but decided to move to Peterborough, Milton Keynes and beyond?

Ahhhh so they got caught taking the proverbial!

Passengers will be pleased to know that like the last time, SWT intend to utalise Drivers Managers to maintain service. Thats the Drivers Managers that will probably only drive a train once every 4 months to ensure that they are still covered as competant, and insured to drive the trains.

Ahhh yes and they will probably use trainee drivers, who although know how to drive a train, have got very little "in anger" experience, although a trainer or manager will be with them to ensure they do their job properly.

I do genuinely feel sorr for the (mainly surburban) passengers, who have to put up with this nonsence. If it was pensions, job losses, or the consideration of Driver Only Trains (all SWT services currently have a guard... otherwise they do not run) then I could understand, but getting a free taxi, because you don't want to work at the local depot because its a different company??

What a lovely weekend it has been! The sun is shining the kids are in the street playing with SuperSoakers and hoses, and the world bows down to the World Cup! Oh by the way, I have succombed to BlogRanking..... aaarrrrgggghhhh

It just seems a shame that it also means I have torant about idiots who think the world is above them and because they want to be special that we have to treat them like royalty.... She was acting like a child though, and brought a smile even to my face!

Okay less description more story:

Many of you probably know my attitude by now, if people make an effort I will bend over backwards to help. If, like woman A, you join my train at London Waterloo, walk past me, and then try to buy a ticket with a railcard AFTER depature, you ain't got a hope in hell.

So this is what woman A did. Technically. I should have sold her a Standard Day Single ticket, but she wanted to come back the next day (today) so I let her have a discounted next day return, but politely refused to give her the railcard discount (Those of you with railcards will be aware that the terms and conditions state you must buy your ticket at the station where facilities exist), she paid, but was complaining that revenue at the other end would not notice, etc etc etc, called me a jobsworth and the variants. Her argument that a guard always comes through the train to issue tickets is flawed in that there are times when our machines fail, or there are none available.

Things were quiet for about an hour until gentleman B joined at Micheldever, a station in the middle of no-where with NO ticket facilities except between 6 and 10 in the morning Mon to Fri. He sat right opposite her...

gent B, is entitled to get a Young-Persons discounted ticket on the train. He had less than a 0% chance of buying it at the station, and is obviously not penalised for doing that. She did not like that one bit. I am now a f*ing jobsworth ct, who is intent on p***ing her off (apparently), a comment she loudly re-itterated when she left the train at Eastleigh.

So if you ARE reading this WOMAN A.... I am currently contemplating having 6 weeks on the sick for the mental scaring the names you called me caused. Oh and by the way, the audio was clear as day..... thanks for dropping yourself in it!

Anyway rant over.... sunny day, I am going to pla the computer.... bye!

But I do not remember what it was!

Hasn't it been a lovely weekend! The sun is still shining here on the south coast, and i am enjoying every minute, by being sat at the computer living my on-line life to the full.....

theres GOTTA be something wrong there!

I should have been out doing work for my second job, mystery shopping, but the website we use to pick up the work has gone down, something about the database being full, so until I get into that, I can not even head to Southampton to do that.

I would go and enjoy the delights of the beer garden, but the pub is shut until friday for refurbishment! I have had to spend the last 5 weeks getting on a bus to Havant to find a pub I am equally comfortable with. Not bad in the evenings because it is only £1.20 for a return ticket.

I gotta think about losing some weight! I am still 19 stone, cant get the scales tipping either way, even after spending 3 weeks only eating lettace and drinking water (except in the pub where I drink Whiskey and Lemonade), and it did not move a bit... I even tried one of those 50p-a-weigh machines to make sure my scales were working!

I am destined to be fat!

Oh well. Rant over, I am heading back to the counter-strike world for some fraggin!

What a lousy day it has been today for me... and to top it all off I am more than likely about to get my ass kicked all around the managers office for being a "racist".

Doing two ound trips from Portsmouth to London on a train is bad enough. The job was nearly 10 hours today although all the work was express trains and none of these stopping services. So anyway onto the topic of the rant.

"... white fat f***ing racist..."

Coming back from London on my last working of the day, I am checking tickets as any good conductor should. Now people who have a railcard are meant to buy their tickets at a ticket office before joining the train, so I was enforcing this, and declining any requests for the discount unless they apporached me with a reasonable excuse.

One gentlemen wanted to demand his (now uneligable) discount. Now I have many friends from a range of ethnic backgrounds, but this coloured gentleman started to try and argue that I was only refusing him the discount because he was black and that I was being racist.... well what he actually said was that I was a "white fat f***ing racist". Fine by me... he alighted at the next station, got agressive and put a complaint in! He still was not getting back on MY train.

You can see which side the managers will fall on.... the customer.

SWT Waterloo train drivers to strike.

So anyway my other topic of conversation affects our suburban commuters. The train drivers at Waterloo have long had a local agreement (they are the only depot to have one) that for their really early and really late shifts they get subsidised taxis from their home to Waterloo station. Some started taking the mickey and were soon to be getting taxis from as far away as Coventry, Peterborough and even Bournemouth (10 minutes away from the local Bournemouth drivers depot!). So the company decides that it is going to remove this facility for the 40 or so drivers that still use the service (new drivers are not offered this facility), and 200 are now going to strike this Tuesday and Thursday.

Mainline services are unlikely to be affected as other depots will have sufficient staff to covers trains onf the Portsmouth, Southampton, Weymouth and Salisbury lines, but disruption is expected on SWT suburban services.

Stabing on Virgin XC train

Most of you in the UK will probably by now have heard about the gentleman stabbed to death on a Vrgin Cross-Country train in West Lancashire yesterday. This surely re-opens a debate of safety of the staff and passengers on the railway.... bring in scanners at major stations, have undercover police on trains, train the staff in self-defence and weaponless combat (or guns, whichever you prefer)

I think its mad that people feel the need to carry knives around with them, and hope this guy is locked up for a very long time... I bet the Virgin Train Manager (guard/conductor) was filling his kecks at the though of what would happen if HE was asked for a ticket!

Well rant over... I am off to prepare a report for this complaint going against me.

WoW! I never though I would enjoy meself so much as I did last night at a G4 concert! Now I will listen to anything music-wise, but I went with a slightly closed mind to hearing a classical re-hash of some popular covers. I came out eyes wide and looking for the albums!

First up was an excellent offering from relativly new trio Triniti ( website ). Sharon, Eve and Laura looked a bit overwhelmed, possibly scared at the the number of fans who were already sat waiting to hear them perform, and I might even go as far to say that if I went into the Brighton Centre not knowing anything, could easily compare them to three girls from a school choir nervously playing forthe first time.

Then they open their mouths... a beautiful Irish accent, and one that could melt even the hardest of rockers. I was slightly concerned that one of the three (it was either Laura or Sharon, which ever it was was wearing the red dress last night) sounded very slightly off key, although I am no music master, and have little musical talant... I prefer being a radio DJ. If it was, I would put my money on it being due to a faulty earpiece (?) because by the time we hit their a cappella offering the harmony was perfect and the voices complemented each other so well!

This is one album I will be getting without listening to any samples on the internet...

After the break came the main act. Jon, Ben, Mike and Matt have certainly done well out of the X-Factor, and their talant justifys their position in the music world. New arrangements of old favourites were very well received, the power of Barcelona and the audience sing-a-long that was La Donna E Mobile made my night, although for me the most powerful and poiniant of the lot was the cover of Bohemian Rhapsody, which I will remember for a long time.

Partly away from the music, the quartet made their way into the crowd towards the end of the concert... which was once the security team had to remove a couple and a weapon (looked like a smash up chair to me), although unfortunatly the security teams had their work cut out keeping the enthusiastic female (and some male) fans from throwing themselves at them!

Away from the music itself, Mike did not seem to be completly with it tonight. At times I thought he came across as distracted, until he came into his own with solo offerings. Jon and Ben were more settled, enjoying the evening and doing something they so obviously love. Matt was the star of the night for me however, and throughout the show I could not help comparing him to the film The Full Monty, where he reminded me of Dave, played by Mark Addy. He was getting into the show and his solo highlight singing Tom Jones classic "It ain't unusual" was certainly different.

All in all, if you can get tickets GO GO GO!

The weeks go by and I seem to write less and less. I don't whether its the fact I have little to say, or whether I can not be bothered to say it.

A lot has happened really, and its hard where to being...

I have spent a lot of the last week trying to work out where I stand with my partner. As it is I only see her twice a month, if I am lucky, and with no apparent will for her to move into our newly bought house, I wonder if even this extravagent purchase we have made is not stopping us from drifting apart. I am talking to her less and less on the phone, when she does come to the flat for the weekend, she is sually watching telly while I am gaming on the computer, and when I am not with her I rarely think of her now.

I have also spent a few days expanding my working knowledge of trains by being able to run class 442's now. Three days with the madest of mad trainers was fun, and I enjoyed the delights of Weymouth on a wet spring day. I also enjoyed not having to chat with any passengers or sell tickets!

I managed to get myself sacked from my online DJing career. I was working on alpha-radio for about a month, and putting in around 20 hours a week, until I was told I was contrbuting too much. My responce of "FOR F**K SAKE Make your ruddy minds up and then let us know" was met with a goodbye.

I am also off to see G4 tonight. One of my closet friends has this thing for them, but decided to leave her boyfriend before they went to see it. So I managed to get a free ticket to G4, and spend the night with her in a hotel (twin beds, not double). I should get back around 3pm tomorrow, because my other half will be coming down for our fortnightly 24hour time together....

My head is spinning so bad, I don't know what to think sometimes.....

A lot to say and not long to say it.

As many of you may have noticed, a new ticker has appeared, and its one I should explain, as some of you have noticed from "private" comments and it would only be time.

Back in September, I had the misfortune of having to deal with the body of a woman who had been involved in a horrific suicide bid, she lived a further 7 hours and died in hospital. I hid it from my friends, I hid it from my family, I hid it from myself. I faultered and hit the bottle and got caught just under 50% over the drink drive limit.

My own fault and I should have known better.... I admitted my guilt in court and received a 12 month ban reduced to 9 with a drink-management course.

What I have surprised myself by doing, is being able to come two-thirds of the way though my ban without getting behind the wheel of a car. I thought I would be an ignorant b*d and get behind the wheel and drive, but I haven't. I did a drink course with 11 other people. I KNOW that at least 4 of them still drive, as I have seen them.

So anyway, thats my cryptic ticker..... My own personal goal to abide by the law from now until the day I die. I know what I have already done is bad enough and I will spend the rest of my days regreting it, but its time to turn a new leaf.

My query is what do our ethnic minorities do to get us in trouble. I was on a bus with around 6 or 7 asian students. They were taking the mickey out of "their culture" and being abusinve about "asian shops" that sold "babies 3 for £1". This joking of their "paki forefathers" (their quote) went on for about 10 minutes with comments like "we are ethnic, worship us" and a black gentleman who was sitting two seats in front of them smiled.... big mistake

All of a sudden they were calling him a "coon" and that he was a "racist f*$k" who should be sent back to the country he came from. Like HELLO! this guy appologised, in better English than I can speak and got off the bus at the next stop. His departure was met by MONKEY NOISES, and shouts of "nigger b*$*h"

I'm sorry, but I knew white men were actively racist against ethnic minorities, but this is behaviour from a culture which we WELCOMED into our country many years ago, and now they are starting to get as bad as the militant members of the BNP!

If this is the way that minorities treat us, shall I become a militant member of the BNP? or shall I just become a "paki forefather" selling "babies, 3 for £1"!

I love sundays, especially if they are in the middle of my two weeks holiday!

Me and the misses went to Goodwood yesterday, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Its rare I get to enjoy myself when gambling, but this is one of those days where it really was different. I really had a good time. Maybe it was the fact that I got to spend awhole day with my partner, rather than the disjointed case of "Ill be at the house early afternoon", followed by a lazy afternoon of "rumpy pumpy" and an early night.

We stayed up to watch Most Haunted Live! on Living TV. Enjoyed seeing someone being buried in a coffin in the middle of the night at the scarey Southsea Castle. If anyone knows what the object they took in with them really was, please let me know. I reckon it was eithe a cannonball or pistol/musket/yesteryear weapon type thing.

Well thats all I got time for now. We are going to get dressed and randomly head out!

I would like to point out that I am A-R|TP:

Alpha-Radio A-R|Donna is now ONAIR!
[22:00] Alpha-Networks tune in to #alpha-radio - http://hi-stream.alpha-radio.co.uk:8000/listen.pls - DJ : A-R|Donna is NOW ON AIR!
[22:01] A-R|Donna tune in to #alpha-radio - http://hi-stream.alpha-radio.co.uk:8000/listen.pls - DJ : A-R|Donna is NOW ON AIR (sorry amsg)
[22:18] A-R|Donna any 1 know why sam is looping back the song 2 me via headset
[22:19] A-R|Donna i like am hearing the song 2 times :/
[22:19] A-R|TP DONNA: Do you have winamp on too?
[22:20] A-R|Donna no coz that would be a real blonde thing 2 do
[22:20] A-R|Jon lol
[22:20] A-R|Donna and i'm blonde just not that blonde
[22:21] juliet hahah
[22:21] juliet owned
[22:21] juliet took long enough ffs
[22:21] A-R|TP I only get my voice feding back on a delay on SAM
[22:21] A-R|Donna and yes it was coz of winamp
[22:21] A-R|TP ROFL
[22:21] A-R|TP pwned!

Humiliation ends!

Join us on www.alpha-radio.co.uk for music through out the evening, from the brightest new DJ's in the UK.

Why is it that when I do something to do something, I end up not actually doing it but doing something else?

I wanted to document my day-to-day life on here but I can never find the words. I like to use words to explain how I feel, yet I no longer know how to feel. I feel independant but alone, happy to be living life, but depressed to do it on my own.

I spend more time online playing games, Counter-Strike, BF2, Pool and hosting on Internet Radio than I do at work.... I don't have a life, I live a life.

No wonder I still alone in solitude....

Tonight I spent an hour testing my connection to a new part of the DumBclan community..... DumBradio! ALPHA RADIO

Basically I have access to a portal so i can host a radioshow on air!

as soon as I get details I will publish them so my friends and co-bloggers can listen in!

EDIT: I know it works, but when I am on air is sparodic....

I will be on http://radio.dumbclan.co.uk:8000/listen.pls when I am on-air though! With many others to boot!

I am now a host on www.alpha-radio.co.uk with a feed on http://hi-stream.alpha-radio.co.uk:8000/listen.pls

From this sunday I have 14 days off!

Does anyone know what I should do with it.... Ideas, invites and offers from fatal on a comment please!

Do you reckon fatal thinks I fancy that pink barnet of hers?

Well after yesterday mornings posting, I went to bed. I slept from 10am to 6pm, and then from 11pm to 6am, and then I STILL had trouble getting out of bed!

The day itself was more enjoyable than I thought. I was based at Woking for the day learning about the new Public Address announcements that I will have to adopt on South West Trains. In my opinion this means that I am going to have to robotically read from a script, tell more "half-truths" and run my train based on a "bible" which is so riddled with errors, if you rely on it for certain answers could get yourself or a passenger killed. (NB: If you are concerned what I mean, please PM or E-mail me asking about Micheldever - especially if you are the South West Trains Head of Guards or their snoop/representative)

The trainer, Nicki, was actually quite cute, shame about three things: shes married, shes older than me (so probably does not care), shes cute (and I never end up with a really cute partner). With this in mind, she obviously kept my attention all day, and we even talked about certain social activities as Poker.

I also actually learned something... South West Train's brightest minds have decided that half of the truth we use to tell, now has to be told in a different way, which makes it sound like a lie, but is actually the truth. Let me give you an example:

If we are having problems with the signalling equipment, we are no longer allow to say that its because of the signalling equipment, but and operational fault. Apparently if we say its a fault with the signalling, people think we are in grave danger and start screaming and crying that they are going to die...... Do these people actually think that we would be so poorly regulated to actually risk peoples lives with problems that occurs literally hundreds of times a day over the whole of the UK's rail network. No? Nor did I?

So now I am going to enjoy a pepperoni pizza, have crude dreams about sexy workmates and "have fun" thinking about them, and then decide whether to post again with some random thoughts on the news and stuff.

WoW.... what an action packed weekend! It meant I had next to no time to blog.... yes I am being over-enthusiastic and I wish something interesting happened....

My partner came to visit me in "our" flat this weekend. She is still having trouble finding a job down here in sunny Portsmouth, so I have to wait.. in OUR flat.. as long as she still pays HER bit of the mortgage!

I took her to London for her birthday present on Saturday. Her birthdat was on the 2nd of April, but the show I bought her tickets to did not open until the week after.

Footlose - The Musical is brilliant! For those of you that remember it, its based on the 1980's film "Footloose" and based on a real life story. The plot is basically about a city-boy who loves dancing and moves with his mom to a town where dancing is outlawed due to a local tragedy waaaay into the past!

I won't say much more than that because it spoils the party!

Either way its a great show, I didn't think I would enjoy it, but it was really very Enjoyable, and I think that Cheryl Baker and Stephen McGann really worked hard to fit in with the younger and more energetic cast.

After that we hit the Gala Casino at Picadilly. £100 later (about 90 minutes) we started to head home.

Not much happened Sunday. My partner went home, I went to bed.

Monday I was up at 02.30 to head in for the morning grind. A busy commuter run into London meant that I was run off my feet pretty much all the way. Everyone wanted to not go to work, I was already at work!

I also played darts last night for my old local team. I had to stay sober though as I was back into work for 03.48 this morning. Learnt a very interesting piece of rumour though. A guard at Brighton the other day heard our announcement for his train. It appears that Brighton station has been tipped off as to who is about to get the new South Western train franchise (it is current Stagecoach South West Trains) by announcing the service as the "First South Western" service to Basingstoke!

Do they know something we don't?

Please sir! Can I have £10,000 of shares in First Group.... I have a feeling they are about to win a new franchise! PINK SHIRTS AND TIES... her