Yesterday was probably life changing. It could have been foolish. Its likely stupid.

Yes as of last night, I became the chairman of the hospital radio station with all the liabilities, responseabilities and cheque books that go with it, and I am very very scared.

for the first time I an essentially running a business...

very very scared.

Bored bored bored. 10am and on my way to work. Well I lie.. I am off to the library first to find a Dummies Guide to dreamweaver 4. Its the biggest library in Hampshire.. it must have it..

I had a phone call from one of my bosses yesterday. The matter I have previously talked about is being dealt with, but they want to investigate it fully.. I can seriously see the guy getting sacked.. if he was not who he was!

He has the uncanny ability to get away with murder.. I am not accusing him of murder but I am sure you know what I mean! He is like a minority of the female members of staff we have. They flirt with the management and the second they are being disciplined they "cry rape".

Rant over I will only work myself up.

24 hours later and I still want to knock the little fuck out. Why would one of my own colleagues want to go out of his way to wind a passenger up so much and them disappear leaving the passenger to want to smack me. He was not even meant to be working the train in question but he still went and started shouting insults down the train at this passenger.

He is the most impolite unprofessional piece of crap I have had the mis-pleasure of working with. He thinks he is untouchable, he has got away with so much, he will get a little present from me next time.

Nothing has changed. No big bang, no management cull, no happy punters. Yes I am back at work, "enjoying" my time as a guard, swallowing my pride to tell someone that I was entirely right.. they are not gods and they dont pay my wages..

i will be able to grab a Metro later, so I will be able to discuss the good, the bad and the ugly.. shame the bad is usually the beautiful as well! Shit happens.

Yes I have taken a few days out to sort myself. My posting has become less recently where other priorities have come forward. I am busy working out the way in which I fit everything in this month, while continuing to oblige my darling with copious amounts of the dirty filthy rampant sex that she has come to demand of me. I jest of course, I would do anything to keep her happy for I love her so.

I am out and about today doing mystery shops in Basingstoke. I have got to the point now that I only give benefit of the doubt where instructed. I have turned evil, even pointing out when a member of staff looks so three that they are slurring their speech.. Coral thanked me on that occasion for finding a member off staff drunk on duty!

I have got another interview for a presenter tomorrow. If I accept her, it will make 4 in the wings waiting to be approved by the NHS trust. Thats 4 that I know of anyway, I dread to think how many more are with other committee members.

I have been flicking through the papers and news sites this morning and one interesting story crossed my eyes suggesting that some Womens prisons such as Holloway should be closed and converted to a mans prison. They believe that women would benefit from smaller "community" units. Surely that would be classed as sexual discrimination? The simple answer would be to make all the perverts, murderers and the like live in poverty, in 8 foot by 4 foot cells on bread and water. They deserve no better in most cases and in many instances are BETTER OFF in prison! The punishment should fit the crime, not the criminal should get a TV, PLAYSTATION, etc.

One thing I did get a chance to do this week was catch up on the first episode of Billie Piper's new sold in The Secret Diary of a Call Girl (still available on itv.com ). She really does look like she enjoys the series, especially AWAY from the sex scenes, with the beauty of make up making her dazzle. I will certainly be making sure I can watch THAT this week.

Well its taken me the best part of an hour to write all that from my mobile phone. So I will give your eyes a rest and catch you later on. TTFN.

... and I need a week off to recover from my week off.

Today, I have been to the studio, mystery shopped for banks and debated what to do for dinner. I have farted darted and carted and its only 6pm.

On the plus side, I have been able to find another potential committee member for the station, yet I wonder if she will try to undo all our work.. we will see.

TTFN

Three days into my weeks leave, I am on a train taking a trip across the desolate urban landscape that is Southampton.. home of the best stadium in the championship..

I have just spent an hour or so in Portsmouth shopping and before that two hours interviewing for new presenters at radio. Tomorrow I am taking my brother to the hospital to get his foot checked out.. he was stupid enough to want to put it in front of a car to see how it would feel.. the answer? Bloody Painful!

I am off to mystery shop Thursday for a mainstream bookmakers in four hours I will have sampled the delights of three of them, making sure they comply with various regulations.. saying that even if I am not I will sometimes make it sound like I am, a great way of getting something for as little as possible.

I am very quickly getting geared up for the Hospital Broadcasting Association conference. Its less than a month away so I have to make sure all my better clobber is up to scratch and my suit pressed and dry cleaned. I will be using a seperate blog on another site to keep people up to date. Details when I have set it up!

well the vibration of my phone must mean that some one wants my attention.. TTFN

Whoever thought of women wearing strappy, very loose tops? That has been my only highlight so far today. Two very lovely lasses wearing very little. Who ever decreed that women should year very little was a genius! Its a shame there two them proceeded to snog each other to pieces.. in the middle of the train.. one for the memory I think.

i finally completed my Genesis back catalogue this week. I have no idea why I wanted it, I just accumulated it. A most excellent collection of proper music I decree.

and finally.. Generic.. Err.. It just sounded good.

The police this week have come to an all time low.. a bus driver turns up at a police station with a group of junkies openly smoking crack on the bus and the police are "not available". Now you can not tell me that there were no officers at Lewisham station who could give just 5 minutes of their time to "protect and serve" as I thought was the core ethos behind policing.

In slightly more depressing news, Britney Spears has released a new track and in my opinion one of her worst yet.. I will wait for a hake decent remix that doesnt make her sound like she is struggling all the way through.

Well not enough time for me to say much today. I hope her indoors has me dinner ready tonight.

I hearby decree that my manager has finally lost it. She is willing to play Russian Roulette with our lives to make sure she gets her bonus.

As of today, if we as guards work a train that is booked to terminate early due to engineering works, we have to get on a bus the same as a passenger. Now some of you may be thinking that we are mad, not above rail passengers,etc, but when you consider that we are often carrying about £500 on us, we have just been through said train selling tickets and chances are some of those are pissed at having to buy a ticket, you can probably understand that some of up are a little concerned for our safety.

My company have never run a risk assessment of getting on a bus at 1am with a load of pissed up scroats looking to battle all-comers. They havent because they would have to do it every weekend when a different bus service runs. As it is, the CCTV on our lovely Disastro trains rarely operates now so when there is even a fight on the train, the police have very little in the way of evidence.

Now I have no problem getting on a replacement bus service during the daytime, or when most of the calling points are staffed, but at 2am meandering down country lanes, is it REALLY a risk the company are happy taking? Even bus companies refuse to drive in some areas that we go through to get to stations on those late night runs.

This is a time when I will fully support Bob Crow if he were to call a strike over our safety. I disagreed with the call for 72 hours on the tube as it was an issue that would have been better resolved with other tactics, but I think that if we were to refuse to start any diagram with a bus involved then we would get somewhere and still pass on a service to our passengers.. well, the ones that dont try to beat us to a pulp.

Sitting all alone, on a station notorious for trouble. With cash, a ticket machine and no way to defend against an attacker.

This is how the railway treat us. Even mobile security guards around here get stab vests!

If a person goes around Tesco, does a weekly shop, walks out without paying and has no money when asked to pay, are they a customer?

If a person uses a chipped Sky box to get free Satelitte, is he a Sky customer?

If a person gets on a train with no intention to pay, is he a railway customer..

If you ask the Railway Managers they are! They may refuse to pay, but if they are sat in First Class and demand the free coffee, breakfast and WiFi that First Class customers want, then we give it to them.

So next time your want to travel in style, refuse to pay!

Railway Managers.. the customer is always right even if he DOESNT want to buy a ticket!

A complex sounding word for a simple problem. I am shattered. I have not even started to work yet, but I am so tired. I am sat in a coach with about 20 bright eyed and bushy tailed schoolkids chattering away probably not about the delights of being back at school.

The "overheard comment of the day" award goes to one of these who has just said:
"I had to go out and buy all new bras this weekend because I have grown so much"
and why do you have to tell a whole carriage of people?

Walking down the platform it amazed me how many of these schoolgirls had their white shirts nearly completely open exposing a black lace bra and the shortest of skirts.. do schools allow it so that a young girl flashes her red thong as she walks along? Are they really content on continuing to tempt men, many of whom it has already been proved, can not help themselves!

It was a quiet end to the day yesterday. Not much happened, it was quite quiet meandering through the Surrey countryside.

It won't last though, it never does.

London Underground has ended its 72 hour strike with many tube lines sarting to re-open. I think to be honest that 48 hours would have been more appropiate, although on the other side of the coin I also agree with my RMT brothers that the pension and job security issues were being ignored. Lets hope that the powers that be can do something about the various issues that the RMT staff have so that we can get back to normal. As yet though, the planned 48 hour strike by TSSA staff has not been called off.

It was crippling though. London Bus companies had to draft out as many buses as they could to cope with the strike and even then, commuters were still waiting two full bus loads before they even thought about getting on.

Talks are now back underway which is aiming at preventing a second 72 hour walkout due to start next monday, 10th September.

I have moaned a lot about Havant Borough Council recently, but I finally have something good to say about them. They are taking the bull by the horns and charging supermarkets for every abandonned trolley that they find.

The £50 charge is small fish for the occasional trolley, but the number of them being found on estates, in beauty spots and river tributries means that the council are being forced to act. At least that might quell some of the break-ins, where you often find TVs being transported around in one.... doubt it.

Well this post is getting too long. I had better go get some sleep, I am on nights again tonight!

TTFN

Getting my ass kicked by the boss is nothing new. NOT getting my ass kicked shocked me tonight. I must have actually done something right for a change.

Its been a week of surprises really. Nationwide finally accepted a reduced payment against my loan, although they have asked me to review my payments in 6 months time. My partner also moves in next week, which is always good. Lets see if luck comes in 3s.

Two days ago I wrote about Havant Borough Council and the fiasco of the bins. Today I phone them asking when its going to be delivered, as I was told I would have it in time for the collection this coming monday.

"Oh its going to be 1 to 2 weeks at the moment" Steve says. Okay hang on, this is the 1 to 2 weeks that has come from where? I was promised a bin by Monday. I did in fact have to PAY for the damn thing.

"If it is not there by Monday, just put the bags out loose" Steve says. But hang on a second, the binmen REFUSE to take bags not in the official Havant Borough Council bin.

"I will put a note for them to pick it up anyway." Steve says.

Now hang on a moment. If this is the case, why don't they just scrap the damn bins and let everyone put out loose bags? Life then goes back to the way it was, with no problems and weekly damned collections!

In other news, I am slowly getting through an application to become a train driver for a new employer. I am sick of being a guard, I am sick of working for the company I do, run by idiots who have never touched a train in anger in their life. Another guard from my depot got threatened yesterday, all because he asked a bloke for a ticket he gets told to say his prayers... It makes no damn sense. Our company will go mad when we strike, its going to happen.

We have made a prediction that the owner of our parent company will hand back the franchise in December 2010. Our company has a 10 year franchise but all agreements, all paperwork, even our staff ID cards expire 31 December 2010. The promise that grafittied trains will be taken out of service to be cleaned now has the tagline "in a few weeks", toilets enter service on trains still with the previous days deposits, faults with the air-conditioning get reported, and again, and again, with no fix made.

Staff facilities are so lacking, that one of our "lunch-break" facilities is now also home to a few families of flies. It took a threat from the staff reps to declare the site unsafe that they took some temporary action. If we take a ready meal or other meal that needs reheating, its hit and miss as to whether we will actually end up in a staff facility with a microwave. I have watched one driver have to eat a chilled cottage pie ready meal UNCOOKED!

Anyway rant over. I have probably just signed my own P45, but hey, they let us get beaten up, threatened, knives held to our throats and then blame us for checking hte tickets in the first place, maybe I AM better off getting sacked!

A couple of really uneventful days means that I have not had much to say. A very quiet shift yesterday saw me sitting around doing nothing!

But last night I had to make the quick dash to my local council before it shut. You see I had to pay for my rubbish to be collected! Yes thats right, Havant Borough Council now charge you the Council Tax to pick it up and charge you to buy a Havant branded bin which is the only thing the bin men will collect!

When mine got stolen, I phoned the council to get it replaced. Two days later I got a phone call saying I have to report it to the police for a crime reference number. Fine. The police however then told me that as I had waited 5 days to report it, I had been on a lodging duty meaning I was away from home, it was not reportable, so no crime reference number.

Then Havant Council dropped the bombshell. Because I can not get a crime reference, I have to pay 25 quid for a new bin. If I do not buy a bin from them, using a cheaper alternative or just putting out black bags, they will not collect and I would have to take them to the dump myself or let them fester in my garden, regardless of the fact I have already paid for it to be collected in my taxes!

Now I know its only 25quid, but why do they hold me to ransom to buy one of THEIR bins or they will refuse to collect it.. they are entrapping me to add to their profits!

What a daft thought. Who thought of them! My bank holiday weekend was meant to be taken up by a wedding. So the hours drive to Windsor was fairly uneventful.. The next hour trying to park was disgraceful! Queues everywhere meant we got to the service 10 minutes late. It was much easier going at the reception though and I finally managed to get to meet the bride and groom for the first time.. It was a shame when 9pm came and I had to leave to get some sleep. Some of up had to work today!

Well 5 hours to go and its been quite uneventful.. shame really

So a court has finally stepped into the bank charges fiasco and ordered Barclays Bank to stop extra charges on a persons account.

The case in question, at Luton Crown Court, has been stayed until the outcome of a "Test Case" due over the next few months. This hold on the account meant that two things would have happened:

*In the event that the plaintiff won, there would be no debt to charge interest on
*As the debt still exists pending the outcome of the case in Luton, interest would continue to be charged.

Therefore the judge heard that this stay would in fact profit in the favour of Barclays Bank and he ordered the halt of all charges and interest on this particular account. This does not mean however that this is an automatic precident. People who are fighting in the courts and have been enforced onto a stay of hearing, are not entitled to the same ruling by default. Its a shame that the judge did not utter those immortal words "In this I set a precident"!

But I do not know what. I feel somehow different. I am not content but I have no worries. I feel cold but I feel warm. I look into the distance but see only my own meandering experience. I take words of my own and mix it with many elses.

need a beer me thinks

Its my first day off in 8 and I am stood at a bus stop at 9am! Like hang on a second, are days off not meant to be long lie-ins, a trip to the pub, or even a visit to the cinema. But no, I am heading out to my secondl to try and make does meet.

thats cool though.. I get Saturday off!

Very very bored. No fights, no rucks, not even a raised voice! So very boring!

I am sleeping much better than I was. No more nightmares about passengers killing me on my train. I hope to be honest that I never get called to court, I do not even think I can recognise him! I see to many faces a day to be able to do that!

Here I am then. Sat on a train, wondering about life. Would be nice to see Sarah today.

There is still nothing entertaining going on, no signalling failures, broken down trains or fatalities. No staff stuck in traffic, fare evaders hiding in the loo or children crying because mummy wont buy them a sandwich that they wont eat anyway. Now I am bored, very bored....

I have gone back to sparodic occasional posting after exhausting myself. I have lived this week on an average of 5 hours sleep a night. Between doing radio shows, doing interviews and keeping the equipment running has tired me out.

It took me 10 minutes to try and get a working ticket machine this morning. I gave up after 3 attempts as I was going to make my train late. You would think that any technology savvy manager would realise that there are a number of factors here:
* Firstly, the machines have to be built and broken down for each guard as the batteries need charging. Natural wear and tear will result. One thing that has always concerned me is that the PDA has to physically connect to its printer by a PIN connector, easy to break!
*Secondly, these machines are being used up to 4 times a day, up to 20 or so hours in a day. Thats a lot of wear!
*Thirdly, you are walking through a train getting fares.. seats, tables, scroats yielding baseball bats demanding your takings, all bring damage to equipment shared around so much its hard to track any damage.

How they lasted three years is a miracle, how they last any longer must be down to the sure determination of managers to cost cut! So far I have managed to drop one onto the track, obliterating the screen, had one taken off me by A quotes who then tried to use it as a weapon, and also droped a bottle of cola over one, not bad in three years!

Except its not. I have just come back off of my two free days so am completely shattered and needing a break!

I just spent two days running around doing errands. Went shopping and to the radio station tuesday and took my brother to a hospital check up and radio yesterday. I have work and an interview for a potential radio recruit today and then work and a radio show tomorrow.. and people say I should do more with my time?

I enjoy being this busy though. I prefer not to have a minute to myself, less chance to gamble. Oh well. Time for me to do some work. TTFN

A bloke with a hard tough macho exterior quivering inside like a scared kitten, as a passenger refuses to pay a normal fare for the journey. I have turned into a heap of crap just because one passenger threatens to fill me in.

I am now sat at a London terminal. Wondering what has become of me. A wreck of my former self. My "hard man of comedy" image beginning to crack.

I suspect I will be pulled into the office tomorrow and asked why I asked for the guys ticket. I might just throw my licence in there and then because I know damn well I am not going to get any backup.

typical, just typical..

I have very few thoughts today. I have not really had much time to look through the media perception of life.

This weekend does mark the 100th day for the search for Maddie. I wish it had not have carried on, to an extent I would have rather they found her body than nothing at all, as harsh as thats sounds. Regardless of what is said about the McCann family. I prey that the truth is soon realised.

We are now just coming to the station where it all kicked off. I am only really typing this to keep me from thinking about yesterday. I already have my hand on my Bardic Lamp just in case I bump into him.. I dont like the prospect of what I could be in for if I do..

But anyway, the football season kicks off today and Pompey are away.. Thank god.. No traffic, no riots, no police motorcycles doing 10mph down the road.. i have got to remember how to transmit live feeds on the radio equipment.. its been a while. I like the fact that our own presenters get gratis tickets from Pompey FC. The patients have their OWN commentary that no one else can pick up!

Well I got to work now.. tTFN

... especially when I have to work on a lovely day like today. I managed to enjoy part of my work yesterday, a young gentleman took exception to the fact that I wanted to see his ticket! Bearing in mind that he was on a sealed train with CCTV, he seemed convinced that he was going to beat the skit out of me. My good friends at Surrey Police had other ideas.

My partner has finally got herself a job this side of the county. Its a shame that I will now lose my sanctuary of being able to hide in my flat with a bottle of scotch and a porno mag.. well not literally but you know what I mean.

I dont know how I feel about that, she is finally moving in, I give it 6 months before we are sick of eachother. Ahhh well.

Borrowed from Terri_R via lledeb

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

I have not got any mirrors to look into.

2. Favorite planet?

Pluto. I am f**ked off with earthling threatening to bash me in just because I ask them for their train ticket.

3. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?

Pass - I had to change SIMs earlier so it wiped that info off!

4. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?

Vampires Are Alive - Eurovision song from Switzaland... (uploaded from my computer of course)

5. Do you “label” yourself?

Yes. As an egotistic idosyncrasy of a train conductor.

6. What does your watch look like?

Its 7 minutes fast.... as its radio controlled....

7. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Sleeping... I hope.

8. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?

"Realy must find my blazers! Its so cold at nite now!"
Make of that as you will.

9. What's a word or phrase that you say a lot?

"And....."

10. Last furry thing you touched?

my cats

11. Favorite age you have been so far?

17 Naieve of University, if I was as then as now... I would be so much better off.

12. Your worst enemy?

Pick any of my managers.... I hate authority

13. What is your current desktop picture?

Any still from R.E.M. "Everybody Hurts"

14. What was the last thing you said to someone?

"That fking ct deserved to have a bardic lamp in his face"

15. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?

Neither... Money and Fame are both sh*te

16. Are you in love with someone?

Yes

17. The last song you listened to?

Something 60s. Was burning compilations to use on my radio shows.

18. What time of day were you born?

pass

19. What's your favorite food?

pizza

20. Where did you live in 1984?

Gosport, Hampshire

21. Are you jealous of anyone?

nope

22. Is anyone jealous of you?

pass
23. Where were you when 9/11 happened?

At my other halfs house..... actually I was driving down the M3 when it was on the news.

24. Do you consider yourself kind?

I try to be

25. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?

My thigh... saying "stop f**king trapping... damn nerve"

26. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?

Double Dutch

27. Would you move for the person you loved?

No.... I would move heaven though!

28. What's your life motto?

Try and get yourself sacked everyday.. If it fails, its been a good day!

29. What's your favorite town/city?

London... the lights, the sounds...
lldeb said Brockenhurst.... personally I would prefer Lymington.... just down the road!

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?

Last week... A demand for my bank charges back from my bank.

31. Can you change the oil on a car?

yes

32. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?

10 years ago.... she said goodbye as we both left high school for the last time.

33. Do you collect anything?

insults

34. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?

Interview for Conductor Manager on the railways.... didnt get it though!

35. Have you been burned by love?

No.... been frozen though.... got a bucket of ice tipped over me because I caught my (now) ex shagin my (now) ex-best mate... she told me to chill out!

The sun is shining, a warm breeze in the air, yes, Dr Jeckle is rearing his soft head today. The idiosycresies that I bring to being a train guard ey!

I actually got my first Happy Birthday today. In an email, from a work colleague that I did not know, knew, that I am one year older this week. On the plus side, none of the staff at the radio station have found out yet!

Its now about 40 minutes later, I am still wandering through Surrey, bashing scroats, having a laugh with 18 year old blondes and generally being me. Well if you can call me me! A question: Do you think its right to let a girl of say.. 8 get changed on a commuter train? One mother seems to think so! I would query its sensibility with thought to all the dirty filthy paedos out there, they do travel by train!

But anyway, life is good, managers are not hanging around and I can safely say BUGGER without getting spanky spanky.

I just got back from doing some shopping. A kid is on his moped, tailgating me, while texting on his mobile phone....

Is he asking to die?