Those of you that know where that title was stolen from probably has a good idea of todays topic of rant..... train passengers.
I have held my tounge over those that try to exploit the system; those that buy a ticket for a specific train and try to travel hours or evn days earlier/later; those that have absolutly no intention of buying a ticket at all - one notorious local would prefer to get a free ride to Liphook or Guildford to see his dealer for another hit of whatever he is always stoned on; those (commuters mostly) who on a daily basis play chicken with train conductors to avoid paying their way.
These people are the first to complain when a bus is substituted for a train, or the service is so abysmal that train crews would rather hide than face the public. When you ask them for their ticket so that you can endorse it for a refund, they say "I am not buying one", what can you do then? As it is, if we are faced with a ticketless traveller, we are instructed we are NOT allowed to remove them from the train even if it is through non-physical methods!
Then we get into questions like this
Why do you allow so many passangers who communte every day to avoid purchasing a ticket? When challenged they purchase a single even on a return journey, why don't you introduce a minimum fare equal to a full price return? Ticket checks are sporadic at best and I subsidise this through my increasingly expensive season ticket. I see no point in purchasing a season ticket in the future as I can save a significant sum by following what is clearly a practice that SWT condone. Source: South West Trains Live Q&A
Now here is the best bit. We still have a debate going on about whether SWT are allowed to make passengers sit on our "suburbanised" class 450 trains, as they prefer the "express" class 444 trains. So they start getting grumpy when a bright 12-coach 450 turns up and start rufusing, or taking their time to show, tickets. Thats fine by me. If they want to take 10 minutes to find the ticket in their pocket, then I will happily waste those 10 minutes when I could be catching ticketless travellers!
Speaking of the 450's, the "no450" campaign, has been contributed to by many. But what made me laugh was a post of their forum about trying to claim compensation for a bad back sitting on the cramped seats of a class 450. Here are a few quotes
Please take NOTICE that with immediate effect I shall hold SWT liable
for all injuries and damage suffered (of any class) as a result (within
any of the degrees of causation) of travelling on the Class 450 multiple
unit trains between (station) and London Waterloo or for on any other
journey when such rolling stock is in use for any journey I may make.
Now this one shocks me. The seats on a 450 is EXACTLY THE SAME as on a 444, with the exception that they do not have the armrests (and space for them) I am not quite sure how the difference will hurt your back if you are sat properly in them.
The basis of this notice is that the effect of traveling on these units
is that they are harmful to my health and this is within the
contemplation of SWT and it is now on notice (by this email). No
exclusion under Terms and Conditions can avoid this liability.
I did not realise anyone is forcing you onto those trains, why don't you wait for the next class 444 train?
And the list goes on.... what a load of b*ks!
Anyway rant is over... I do actually like talking to passengers, but when they are drunken vulgar and abusive commuters on London to Haslemere and Portsmouth services, are you surprised you do not see a conductor.
I notice that this rant now has no structure, so I will leave it there.