I have felt so incensed at a cocky arrogant journo who is apparently now making a complaint straight to the top of the train operator I work for.. all for the sake of showing a ticket.

because he got on at a station with staff, he must assume that I do not need to ask for his ticket as he panted (I mean ranted, but he was struggling for breath most of the time) that I should know better. He refused to accept that he could have come from one of the dozen stations around it that are open access, nor the fact that by law I am within my rights to ask for his ticket as it is in fact still property of the railway!

All he would keep saying is that he is a journalist and he will put this in his paper and I will be sacked (again? i am getting good at this) until I started querying about his work and pointing out that as everything is recorded on the train. The subtle hints that refusing to show a ticket is as bad as not holding one he started backtracking that he was in fact a sports journo with no interest in news.. either way, he was nothing but a pain in the arse and I made sure his ticket was checked a third time on his way out.

As I sit here, pondering the meaning of life, warts and all, I can not help thinking what a waste of time the ticket checkers are on the railway around me. I sold a ticket to a man who showed me exactly how he got on the platform.. with a blank ticket.

Now I am a polite man, not abusive and definatly not racist, but when I see a group of checkers at London Waterloo, they are usually 'slummed' by a gate chatting away in foreign languages and letting though all and sundry. Granted, there are a few good ones, and one of our newer recruits actually caught a forged annual season ticket, but they are largely outweighed.

Its not only our foreign friends that do it, one of our white British colleagues based at a Hampshire station wanders away on a regular basis to 'bus spot' at the end of one of the platforms.

Blimey - I forgot I was writing this earlier.. its now about 40 minutes later than when I started. So I am slowly being resigned to the fact that I will never get above the rank of pleb, I keep getting rejection after rejection for promotions, transfers and even demotions!

I got a busy few days off coming up. My goddaughter and her mother are coming down after mother got beaten up by HER dad.. again. Then I am off to London on the second day to get rather drunk with an old university friend. No time to wash my work uniform then, not that I have any, it takes 8 weeks just to get a pair of trousers! I am now sat on sunny Brightno station wondering the world away. People milling around, loved ones saying hello and goodbye, life carrying on. It makes me proud to be a part of it.

.... I know...

I have not been feeling to good over the last few days, I took a couple of days off work because I was really feeling carp.

Well I am back at work now, even though I am only feeling about 85%, but I can not afford to lose the money. I worked out that when I had those 4 weeks off the track because of my little cock-up, I lost around £150 in take home pay... not good.

Not much has happened since I came back off of my hols, the debt management people are still hard at work, the house is still vaguely tidy and the cats still very fat.

The floor of a Virgin Voyager is more comfortable than its seats, thats official! The seats marked as not reserved are in fact fully reserved and we found that out at Wolverhampton! So there are now 4 burly lads sat on the floor of the quiet zone vestibule drinking adds and singing sea shanties.. thats until someone complained and now we are just drinking.. at least the goes down quicker, I already have my money down for the first one to vomit into the toilet.

I am shattered. I need a holiday to recover from the holiday.

Yesterdays entertainment was better than Friday. Popcorn were a great live band. Visually, the lass on vocals looked and sounded very strong, maybe the 70s fuzzball hairdo helps..

By 1130 we were in the over 18s bar watching a funny, but at the same time monotonous Manchester comedian. After co hour it was tiring and off to bed - alone - I go.

I awoke at 10 this morning and took a trip down to The Meer. Its a very pleasant lake with quite a few different animal species. I spent a good hour just watching life go by before heading back for some lunch.

well as it will be good time tomorrow, it will be early night tonight. I will definatly be drunk by then. I have enjoyed my weekend away.. I will have to post pictures when I can.

After 20 minutes waiting for a table at Pizza Hut, I was then told there would be a further 30 minute delay in our food.. Your joking.. right?

nope they were serious and 5 minutes later I was enjoying a adds while waiting for some grub at the Rose and Crown in Blackpool centre..

why do I always end up on a weekend away and walk straight into a gay pride parade?

whats the chance of me pulling tonight?

I enjoyed my first night in Blackpool. Its a shame the entertainment was not much. The Sheffield act "Three" did not grab my attention whatsoever. The Liverpool type enjoyed his falsetto but it sounded like a strangled act. Maybe a better offering tomorrow!

Well its 0830 and the first tin of beer is nearly finished. Yes I woke up and made it on time to the train and I am on my way up to wet and windy Blackpool for booze sun and (hopefully) sex. One doubts that the yokels of the town are desperate enough to sleep with a short (5'9) fat (20 stone) ugly bloke!

I am lucky enough to have a booked seat! I doubt that the middle aged couple sat on my table will appreciate me trying to stagger off the train at Preston! Ahhh the beauty of working on the railway, an open return Basingstoke to Blackpool for just £31. Currently just outside Oxford, there is a long way to go! Hang on.. I just need to open another beer..

mmmm.. Just left Oxford now, and I just realised this is going to cost me a small fortune to post on my mobile! Vodafone are changing their charges but are planning on bringing out an added extra dmp unlimited browsing. I hope its around the £7 mark like TMobile!

Well I am sure I will post later in the weekend, especially if I am lucky enough to find somebody desperate to find a bloke for the night!

Well...

This time on Friday I will be in Blackpool soaking up the beer, wine and anything else they can aim at my mouth! I would love the chance to say i wam going to enjoy it, however I know that my financial problems will be on my mind throughout.

Tomorrow I await a phone call from a company that are working on a Debt Management Program with me to help pay off my debts. It is mroe scarey than it sounds because it will wreck my perect credit score of 8 years because I managed to fiddle the payments fo so long.

I will come back to messages saying I owe this and that, if I don't call Iw ill have a visit from the bailiffs, etc.

Annnnnyway. I am amazed... Blue Man Group finish performing in the West End in just over a months time.... I loved that show, it was brilliant!

I hope they tour down this way, because I want to see them again, but I will not get a chance before they close.....

I am slowly getting back into enjoying work. I missed being able to work trains and I have not been to London since April 16th, sounds weird, but I kinda miss it! I miss the hustle and bustle of city life.

Well... its time to grab a Kaliber and enjoy the sunset... TTFN

Thankfully I have kept my job. I have been reprimanded and placed into a high-risk catagory for a while to ensure that I do no cock up again...

At least I kept my job!

This is it. 14 hours and I find out if I have been fired. Its only taken them 25 days to decide, which has meant 25 sleepless nights waiting, just waiting.

Its Thursday tomorrow, so that means that I have the opportunity to pick up a local paper as its jobs day... If it the worst news, I will have to call around all these companies and disconnect everything so I will say goodbye just in case.

So Little Miss Socialite finally gets a taste of the other side of the fence. 45 days in jail for driving on a suspended licence and I think it definatly not enough. If she had had an accident, driving without any headlights at night, she should have been jailed on the spot for dangerous driving!

But being the high profile trolley dolly that she is, she gets 45 days in the brig AND a month to prepare for it!

Her lawyers said that she was picked on and singled out for who she was... eah thas true... she was given preferential treatment!

Finally I have the date for my intestigatory interview/bollocking!

Next Thursday will show whether I have to look for a new job or not! I can tell you that I am getting really peeved with sitting around doing nothing and I have spent so much time at work playing games on my laptop that my right index finger hurts at the slightest touch, I wonder if I am developing a callus(sp?) on my finger!

Morale at our depot is now so low that it is going through the floor. Some crews are now having to work 3 hours enforced overtime in a week. last time I checked, making someone work a 45 hours week with something as safety critical as ours (and the responsibility of up to 1000 passengers) is stupidly dangerous. There is now a few occasions where someone works 10 hours on 12 hours off for 6 days in a row, then two days off before switching from lates to earlies.... and they wonder why guards and drivers cock it up with monotonus regularity!

Since December, our working terms and conditions have gone out of the window with our 42 hours week and minimum/maximum working hours regularly exceeded.

One of our contractual agreements is that if we are "cover" turning, the roster team can move us up to 2 hours either side of our booked start time. So our normal 8.5 hours turn starting at 6am can become up to 11hours but starting anywhere between 4 and 8, and they regularly do that!

Theres also this new anti-harassment and anti-bullying poilcy that has come out (but only at our depot). As in any stressful job, the banter between colleagues can help alleviate th stress. Anyone who has seen a busy commuter train with problem commuters will realise that sometimes the guard has to bottle it up! Over the last 6 motnhs however, the "management" has increasingly brought in and enforced stupid rules such as no swearing in the mess room and no banter!

IN FACT, if you are now heard by a manager mucking around with someone and you jovialy call them a fat f**k, then even if that person really does not care you can still be liable to disciplinary action!

Like YOUR JOKING.... RIGHT!

I don't get it. Sunday night, the weather forecast said that Monday would be thunderstorms, the rest of the week being dull but getting brighter. No one told the weather that though!

It has been a beautiful three days the sun has shone throughout and as I was driving home from work last night, I looked out from the top of the hill and saw the moon shining into the harbour, it was so beautiful. Obviously then I came home, got drunk and enjoyed the early hours of the morning!

It turns out that I might find out later today when my formal interview is at work. I was pulled aside by the boss last night (what were managers doing in the depot at 7pm? - its waaaay past their bedtime!) and told that they are hoping to have it Friday afternoon. That means that I will be looking at overall having 19 days off-track while this is sorted out. Next time I will not bother reporting myself for what essentially was an error that only put myself in danger, which I am trained to know how to deal with anyway!

Its now only a fortnight and a few days until my first weekend away of the year. I am off to Blackpool for a few days thanks to The Sun! For me and my mate both to travel up on our staff passes (means we get a 75% discount)and it means that we actually pay nearly the same for our pair of train tickets than the actual accomodation!

Its gonna be fun... There are 4 of us all together going, two from London, me from Portsmouth and him from Bournemouth. Its gonna be a weekend of jollities and drinking, shame I can not drink much now

Oh well.... I am going to back to sleep, I am not dur in work for another 11 hours!

TTFN

I just been to the doctors..... hmmmm

I have been ordered off booze for 2 months in an attempt to bring my liver back into check as apparently the scores on my liver are coming down, but not fast enough.

So I gotta finish the crate I got and then two months sobriety.... I kinda hated drinking Kaliber all the time last time, but it has to be done! I did try to get some Valium from him, but he would not have it.....

Or something like that...

I have had 12 hours to think about a meeting last night that I had. It was a committee meeting within the Hospital Radio that I do, keeping things sweet and the like.

All of a sudden it looks like I have yet more work to do! There was a plan that at the next AGM, I would take over from the current Station Manager. Last night, 6 months ahead of plan, he announced his resignation after another committee member, through a chance comment in a conversation, managed to get us a little publicity which would obviously result in a few members possibly joining us.

He did not like that.

So again its down to me to offer to take over his office until the AGM because he is very obviously not happy.