Two days ago I wrote about Havant Borough Council and the fiasco of the bins. Today I phone them asking when its going to be delivered, as I was told I would have it in time for the collection this coming monday.

"Oh its going to be 1 to 2 weeks at the moment" Steve says. Okay hang on, this is the 1 to 2 weeks that has come from where? I was promised a bin by Monday. I did in fact have to PAY for the damn thing.

"If it is not there by Monday, just put the bags out loose" Steve says. But hang on a second, the binmen REFUSE to take bags not in the official Havant Borough Council bin.

"I will put a note for them to pick it up anyway." Steve says.

Now hang on a moment. If this is the case, why don't they just scrap the damn bins and let everyone put out loose bags? Life then goes back to the way it was, with no problems and weekly damned collections!

In other news, I am slowly getting through an application to become a train driver for a new employer. I am sick of being a guard, I am sick of working for the company I do, run by idiots who have never touched a train in anger in their life. Another guard from my depot got threatened yesterday, all because he asked a bloke for a ticket he gets told to say his prayers... It makes no damn sense. Our company will go mad when we strike, its going to happen.

We have made a prediction that the owner of our parent company will hand back the franchise in December 2010. Our company has a 10 year franchise but all agreements, all paperwork, even our staff ID cards expire 31 December 2010. The promise that grafittied trains will be taken out of service to be cleaned now has the tagline "in a few weeks", toilets enter service on trains still with the previous days deposits, faults with the air-conditioning get reported, and again, and again, with no fix made.

Staff facilities are so lacking, that one of our "lunch-break" facilities is now also home to a few families of flies. It took a threat from the staff reps to declare the site unsafe that they took some temporary action. If we take a ready meal or other meal that needs reheating, its hit and miss as to whether we will actually end up in a staff facility with a microwave. I have watched one driver have to eat a chilled cottage pie ready meal UNCOOKED!

Anyway rant over. I have probably just signed my own P45, but hey, they let us get beaten up, threatened, knives held to our throats and then blame us for checking hte tickets in the first place, maybe I AM better off getting sacked!

A couple of really uneventful days means that I have not had much to say. A very quiet shift yesterday saw me sitting around doing nothing!

But last night I had to make the quick dash to my local council before it shut. You see I had to pay for my rubbish to be collected! Yes thats right, Havant Borough Council now charge you the Council Tax to pick it up and charge you to buy a Havant branded bin which is the only thing the bin men will collect!

When mine got stolen, I phoned the council to get it replaced. Two days later I got a phone call saying I have to report it to the police for a crime reference number. Fine. The police however then told me that as I had waited 5 days to report it, I had been on a lodging duty meaning I was away from home, it was not reportable, so no crime reference number.

Then Havant Council dropped the bombshell. Because I can not get a crime reference, I have to pay 25 quid for a new bin. If I do not buy a bin from them, using a cheaper alternative or just putting out black bags, they will not collect and I would have to take them to the dump myself or let them fester in my garden, regardless of the fact I have already paid for it to be collected in my taxes!

Now I know its only 25quid, but why do they hold me to ransom to buy one of THEIR bins or they will refuse to collect it.. they are entrapping me to add to their profits!

What a daft thought. Who thought of them! My bank holiday weekend was meant to be taken up by a wedding. So the hours drive to Windsor was fairly uneventful.. The next hour trying to park was disgraceful! Queues everywhere meant we got to the service 10 minutes late. It was much easier going at the reception though and I finally managed to get to meet the bride and groom for the first time.. It was a shame when 9pm came and I had to leave to get some sleep. Some of up had to work today!

Well 5 hours to go and its been quite uneventful.. shame really

So a court has finally stepped into the bank charges fiasco and ordered Barclays Bank to stop extra charges on a persons account.

The case in question, at Luton Crown Court, has been stayed until the outcome of a "Test Case" due over the next few months. This hold on the account meant that two things would have happened:

*In the event that the plaintiff won, there would be no debt to charge interest on
*As the debt still exists pending the outcome of the case in Luton, interest would continue to be charged.

Therefore the judge heard that this stay would in fact profit in the favour of Barclays Bank and he ordered the halt of all charges and interest on this particular account. This does not mean however that this is an automatic precident. People who are fighting in the courts and have been enforced onto a stay of hearing, are not entitled to the same ruling by default. Its a shame that the judge did not utter those immortal words "In this I set a precident"!

But I do not know what. I feel somehow different. I am not content but I have no worries. I feel cold but I feel warm. I look into the distance but see only my own meandering experience. I take words of my own and mix it with many elses.

need a beer me thinks

Its my first day off in 8 and I am stood at a bus stop at 9am! Like hang on a second, are days off not meant to be long lie-ins, a trip to the pub, or even a visit to the cinema. But no, I am heading out to my secondl to try and make does meet.

thats cool though.. I get Saturday off!

Very very bored. No fights, no rucks, not even a raised voice! So very boring!

I am sleeping much better than I was. No more nightmares about passengers killing me on my train. I hope to be honest that I never get called to court, I do not even think I can recognise him! I see to many faces a day to be able to do that!

Here I am then. Sat on a train, wondering about life. Would be nice to see Sarah today.

There is still nothing entertaining going on, no signalling failures, broken down trains or fatalities. No staff stuck in traffic, fare evaders hiding in the loo or children crying because mummy wont buy them a sandwich that they wont eat anyway. Now I am bored, very bored....

I have gone back to sparodic occasional posting after exhausting myself. I have lived this week on an average of 5 hours sleep a night. Between doing radio shows, doing interviews and keeping the equipment running has tired me out.

It took me 10 minutes to try and get a working ticket machine this morning. I gave up after 3 attempts as I was going to make my train late. You would think that any technology savvy manager would realise that there are a number of factors here:
* Firstly, the machines have to be built and broken down for each guard as the batteries need charging. Natural wear and tear will result. One thing that has always concerned me is that the PDA has to physically connect to its printer by a PIN connector, easy to break!
*Secondly, these machines are being used up to 4 times a day, up to 20 or so hours in a day. Thats a lot of wear!
*Thirdly, you are walking through a train getting fares.. seats, tables, scroats yielding baseball bats demanding your takings, all bring damage to equipment shared around so much its hard to track any damage.

How they lasted three years is a miracle, how they last any longer must be down to the sure determination of managers to cost cut! So far I have managed to drop one onto the track, obliterating the screen, had one taken off me by A quotes who then tried to use it as a weapon, and also droped a bottle of cola over one, not bad in three years!

Except its not. I have just come back off of my two free days so am completely shattered and needing a break!

I just spent two days running around doing errands. Went shopping and to the radio station tuesday and took my brother to a hospital check up and radio yesterday. I have work and an interview for a potential radio recruit today and then work and a radio show tomorrow.. and people say I should do more with my time?

I enjoy being this busy though. I prefer not to have a minute to myself, less chance to gamble. Oh well. Time for me to do some work. TTFN

A bloke with a hard tough macho exterior quivering inside like a scared kitten, as a passenger refuses to pay a normal fare for the journey. I have turned into a heap of crap just because one passenger threatens to fill me in.

I am now sat at a London terminal. Wondering what has become of me. A wreck of my former self. My "hard man of comedy" image beginning to crack.

I suspect I will be pulled into the office tomorrow and asked why I asked for the guys ticket. I might just throw my licence in there and then because I know damn well I am not going to get any backup.

typical, just typical..

I have very few thoughts today. I have not really had much time to look through the media perception of life.

This weekend does mark the 100th day for the search for Maddie. I wish it had not have carried on, to an extent I would have rather they found her body than nothing at all, as harsh as thats sounds. Regardless of what is said about the McCann family. I prey that the truth is soon realised.

We are now just coming to the station where it all kicked off. I am only really typing this to keep me from thinking about yesterday. I already have my hand on my Bardic Lamp just in case I bump into him.. I dont like the prospect of what I could be in for if I do..

But anyway, the football season kicks off today and Pompey are away.. Thank god.. No traffic, no riots, no police motorcycles doing 10mph down the road.. i have got to remember how to transmit live feeds on the radio equipment.. its been a while. I like the fact that our own presenters get gratis tickets from Pompey FC. The patients have their OWN commentary that no one else can pick up!

Well I got to work now.. tTFN

... especially when I have to work on a lovely day like today. I managed to enjoy part of my work yesterday, a young gentleman took exception to the fact that I wanted to see his ticket! Bearing in mind that he was on a sealed train with CCTV, he seemed convinced that he was going to beat the skit out of me. My good friends at Surrey Police had other ideas.

My partner has finally got herself a job this side of the county. Its a shame that I will now lose my sanctuary of being able to hide in my flat with a bottle of scotch and a porno mag.. well not literally but you know what I mean.

I dont know how I feel about that, she is finally moving in, I give it 6 months before we are sick of eachother. Ahhh well.

Borrowed from Terri_R via lledeb

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

I have not got any mirrors to look into.

2. Favorite planet?

Pluto. I am f**ked off with earthling threatening to bash me in just because I ask them for their train ticket.

3. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?

Pass - I had to change SIMs earlier so it wiped that info off!

4. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?

Vampires Are Alive - Eurovision song from Switzaland... (uploaded from my computer of course)

5. Do you “label” yourself?

Yes. As an egotistic idosyncrasy of a train conductor.

6. What does your watch look like?

Its 7 minutes fast.... as its radio controlled....

7. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Sleeping... I hope.

8. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?

"Realy must find my blazers! Its so cold at nite now!"
Make of that as you will.

9. What's a word or phrase that you say a lot?

"And....."

10. Last furry thing you touched?

my cats

11. Favorite age you have been so far?

17 Naieve of University, if I was as then as now... I would be so much better off.

12. Your worst enemy?

Pick any of my managers.... I hate authority

13. What is your current desktop picture?

Any still from R.E.M. "Everybody Hurts"

14. What was the last thing you said to someone?

"That fking ct deserved to have a bardic lamp in his face"

15. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?

Neither... Money and Fame are both sh*te

16. Are you in love with someone?

Yes

17. The last song you listened to?

Something 60s. Was burning compilations to use on my radio shows.

18. What time of day were you born?

pass

19. What's your favorite food?

pizza

20. Where did you live in 1984?

Gosport, Hampshire

21. Are you jealous of anyone?

nope

22. Is anyone jealous of you?

pass
23. Where were you when 9/11 happened?

At my other halfs house..... actually I was driving down the M3 when it was on the news.

24. Do you consider yourself kind?

I try to be

25. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?

My thigh... saying "stop f**king trapping... damn nerve"

26. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?

Double Dutch

27. Would you move for the person you loved?

No.... I would move heaven though!

28. What's your life motto?

Try and get yourself sacked everyday.. If it fails, its been a good day!

29. What's your favorite town/city?

London... the lights, the sounds...
lldeb said Brockenhurst.... personally I would prefer Lymington.... just down the road!

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?

Last week... A demand for my bank charges back from my bank.

31. Can you change the oil on a car?

yes

32. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?

10 years ago.... she said goodbye as we both left high school for the last time.

33. Do you collect anything?

insults

34. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?

Interview for Conductor Manager on the railways.... didnt get it though!

35. Have you been burned by love?

No.... been frozen though.... got a bucket of ice tipped over me because I caught my (now) ex shagin my (now) ex-best mate... she told me to chill out!

The sun is shining, a warm breeze in the air, yes, Dr Jeckle is rearing his soft head today. The idiosycresies that I bring to being a train guard ey!

I actually got my first Happy Birthday today. In an email, from a work colleague that I did not know, knew, that I am one year older this week. On the plus side, none of the staff at the radio station have found out yet!

Its now about 40 minutes later, I am still wandering through Surrey, bashing scroats, having a laugh with 18 year old blondes and generally being me. Well if you can call me me! A question: Do you think its right to let a girl of say.. 8 get changed on a commuter train? One mother seems to think so! I would query its sensibility with thought to all the dirty filthy paedos out there, they do travel by train!

But anyway, life is good, managers are not hanging around and I can safely say BUGGER without getting spanky spanky.

I just got back from doing some shopping. A kid is on his moped, tailgating me, while texting on his mobile phone....

Is he asking to die?

Yet another unofficial bollocking today for doing what I was trained to do all that time ago.. I am slowly getting to the point where I am going to down a bottle of vodka and slit my wrists..

ahhh fuck it. you dont care, your just a box of electronics programmed to repeat what i say .

This is a test I took again this morning.... last months results were on 13 July, so just under a month ago.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	4.1
Mind:	4.8
Body:	4.5
Spirit:	3.2
Friends/Family:	2.1
Love:	4.6
Finance:	5.2
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

But rare do you contemplate actually considering it. That is how I felt today. I actually contemplated walking out in front of my own train.

I joined this job to be a service to our customers. When the company said that we had to treat our customers in contempt and without trust, I did that as well. Now I am being told that I was not told that, but to treat customers as customers but not to trust them and treat them as fare evaders. That is while wearing trousers so oversized that the crotch is nearer to my knees than my crotch, but I can not wear my own because that would conflict with the Tax break they get for annually issuing a new set of uniform, which they actually issue once a decade, but dont tell the taxman.

The company I work for has visions and values that dont really exist, a motto that is just a few words on a bit of paper and a management team that not only fail to communicate over a desk, but are so rarely at their desk you wonder if they actually work.

The same faces get moved from depot to depot in the hope that they might get a bit of respect. They join, sack a few people for breathing then fly off into the night. Saying that, it is the first time I have heard of management outwardly hating one of their own!

In the space of 12 months we have had 30 odd people leave either of their own, or forced accord. We went from overstaffed to very short staffed and no one seems to be worried! Trains now get cancelled because the spare crews factored in for disruption recovery are out working the minute they get in and when it all goes wrong, we lose the service.

BUT, there is no problem apparently.. life could not be better.. how does one slit ones wrists again?

Actually I been hre most of what you lot will call the day. I was in work before you even sub-conciously thought "its Friday"

But I made up for it by missing the best bit of the day... lunch... by being asleep.

Got a big bollocking at work today.... I forgot.... if someone is breaking the law, you can NOT call them a criminal. Nope, you just can't. I have never worked that one out though. Does this mean that:

A rapist is now a "person sexually experienced with non-consenting persons"?
A paedophile is now a "person who gets sexual gratification from having or watching sex with thoses too young to be able to consent"?
A shoplifter is now a "customer who prefers not to pay for a product"?

My boss has got to get her act together.

So one of the bombers who tried to blow up Galsgow airport has died 5 weeks after doctors who said he had no chance started to treat him. Now this is a story that confuses me. A bloke drives a jeep full of explosives into an airport, is burned to a point where he is expected to have a 99.9% chance of mortality, then kept alive at a cost of hundreds of thousands until he dies? This is because he was a anti-west terrorist right?

If YOU OR I are admitted to hospital with a 99% chance of death, doctors are telling you its in the best interests to turn off the machines. BUT because this bloke hates Western civilisation enough to want to destroy it, lets keep him alive.... NO DAMN IT - Pour hot acid over him, make him feel what it would be like to be in that terminal, make him die a slow painful death so that he does not get his 40 virgin women on the "other side". The developed culture in the UK of treating people this way is causing more grief for the original British person than those trying to detroy it.

Microsoft are developing a free version of their popular Works range of office software. Unlike many of the current offerings of "free" variants from other developers, this will continue to be installed on your PC as Microsoft currently do (competitors often use web browsers), however will be ad supported, therefore I would imagine that this will mean occasional connection to the Internet in order to update advertising protocols.

I like this idea. MS Works is a proven, stable, if not reduced, offering from MS to offer a choice from the MS Office range. I just hope the adverts are not too intrusive or "adult-orientated" for two reasons: under 16s will like the idea of not having to pay out their pocket money; those that would use it for formal letters would appreciate ot having an advert printed with it.

Yet another August, yet another thousand yachts in the Solent, YES its another Cowes Week. Skandia Cowes Week is always a popular event with something in the region of 100,000 visitors expected over the 9 days. This is the last year that Skandia are sponsoring it, so maybe they will want to leave with a bang... not of the crashed boats kind of course.

Unlicenced sex pills have been recovered in a raid on a lock-up in London. £350k of the stuff was retreived from the Uxbridge garage which appears to be destined for impotent men everywhere.... othewise that is one hell of an erection problem!

And finally... Inmates at Hampshire's Haslar Immigration Centre have gone on hunger strike over living conditions. Most of those in Haslar are enforced inmates as it is believed they will abscond while their imigration cases are reviewed, alledge that they are being treated like criminals. I wonder if they would change their stance if all 120 them were told they would be deported tomorrow morning!

It amazes me that the UK is such a soft touch. I know that many foreign nationals come to the UK and work hard. But then their Visa's run out and they leave new friends behind as they head home. Many of those locked up arounnd the country have come across, lived off the state with no intention of getting a job, burgled, robbed and pillaged and still expect to be treated like royalty.... Scrub around the holding cells, land a plane at Lee On The Solent and send them home!

Now I don't mind the flattering attention, but today I have had 19 visitors and 720 pageviews....

So who broke their refresh button....

Well an hour doing nothing can only mean one thing, a quick look at some of the stories in the paper today.

The bum pincher has been cautioned by police. For time of you that missed the big story, a TV reporter was pinched on the bum while doing a live feed for channel 4... she did not choose to press charges.. i wonder why noone pinches my bum.. oh I forgot, I am a fat ugly knacker.

Although some people are daft enough to drive a jeep into a train station to steal a cash point, none can be as daft as one gang in Germany who thought they had stolen a cashpoint to find out later it was only a statement machine!

A devoted couple who have lived together for 50 years finally got married yesterday after meeting and falling in love in the late 1950s. Both retired headteachers, they both share passions in languages and classical music. Ahhh.

.Thats all I seem to do now. Think of her beauty, the way she smiles but doesnt actually smile, the way she Tries to insult, but seems to never find the right words. I never imagine anything seedy or perverted when I think of her though, only ever us cuddling up on the sofa in front of a movie... thinking about it, I rarely picture her naked, in underwear or anything like that either.. is this what real love feels like?

It looks like its going to be a nice day again. Few clouds in the sky, nothing looking capable of rain. I might even wander around the shops looking for a new job.. yes, I have had enough now and I am continuing to pro-actively look for a job. I have never known a job to insist you work 12 days straight and them work 3 of your days off without any extra pay!

When you have a train company prepared to force its front line staff into that post of environment, can they then be suprised when the guard opens the doors on the wrong side, or opens doors not on the platform, because it will happen, the train crews are shattered with their 55 hour weeks due to enforced overtime.. and thats BEFORE we talk about instances like that above!

What concerns me is that now this company has won another franchisie, that will be another x number of staff being put under the same conditions. Its only a matter of time before there is a major failure and someone WILL get killed because of it..

now I am just winding myself into an anger ball.. i am going to leave it there for now.

Its the first day of the month it is hoped summer comes. Not a lot of summer cheer though as both One Railway and the Underground are both threatening to grind London to a halt!

But one paper reports today that happyness only costs 30 quid a day. Abbey have researc that holidays cost around 3k a year, suggesting that they either surveyed their rich customers or those taking the only holiday in 10 year to create that average.

The RSPCA this week has released figures on cruelty including a story about a starting dog forced to eat its dead companions. As much as a dog may not necessarily be as intelligent as a human, I wonder if dogs think in a similar way.. it way not ever think the same way again.

A car salesman in the States has turned himself in after having the last of arguments with two of his employees. The bloke had taken the last request for a pay rise from the Lithuanians and shot them both.

Cola drinkers can get healthier as Coke releases yet another brand. Diet Coke Plus will have added VitC with a 350ml bottle offering 52% of the RDA. I wonder how much more it will cost than a 330can?

and finally..

I will try and think of something to say here later

The Evening Standard finally caught up yesterday as they reported about 2 planes colliding at Heathrow. 3 days after it was reported everywhere else including here.

Otherwise there was not much news in yesterdays evening paper Langham is still in court, etc etc. its only 5am.. what the hell am I doing up?